Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions.
If adoption is something you are considering, then you are probably asking yourself questions such as:
Common FAQs
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Do I have to have my mind made up when I call?
ANSWER: No. It is rare for a woman to be committed to adoption during her first phone call. In fact, you don’t even make your final decision until after the baby is born.
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Why do other women choose adoption?
ANSWER: Every woman chooses adoption for different reasons because of their own unique situations:
- • Father of the Baby – It is common for women to explore adoption because the father of the baby is not in the picture, making parenting twice as challenging for her.
- • Finances – Parenting is expensive, and many women dealing with an unplanned pregnancy have not reached a stage in their life where they are able to provide all of the necessities they want for their child.
- • Not Ready to Parent – Some women choose adoption because they simply are not ready to raise a child at this juncture in their lives. They may not be emotionally ready, they may have aspirations to complete school or focus on a career, or they simply may not be ready for the huge responsibility of parenting.
There are many reasons why women choose adoption. It is important to make sure that the decision is well thought out and any questions you have about adoption are discussed in depth with our Adoption Coordinator.
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How will I know who the right family is for my baby?
ANSWER: ABL Adoptions works with many adoptive families at all times, meaning prospective birth mothers will always find a family that matches the characteristics of their adoption plan.
Whether you envision your child growing up in the city or in the country, in the Midwest or on the West Coast, you choose the adoptive family and thus the life your child will have. ABL’s adoptive families are all unique, and we believe there is a perfect family for every prospective birth mother. -
How are adoptive families approved to adopt?
ANSWER: ABL Adoptions requires waiting families to complete and maintain a current home study from their state and to go through our application approval process.
Only a selection of our adoptive family applications are accepted, to ensure that our adoptive families...- • Have completed an extensive home study, ensuring the family has completed criminal, medical and financial checks, and that their home is a safe environment for a child.
- • Are fully committed to adoption.
- • Are accepting of at least a semi-open adoption, based on your desire of contact.
Finally, ABL Adoptions provides prospective birth parents with a wealth of knowledge about any family that matches her preferences, so she can perform her own "screening process."
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Can I still see my baby and the adoptive family after placement?
ANSWER: Over the past few decades, adoption has become increasingly “open,” in that birth parents have more opportunities than ever to continue a relationship with their child and the adoptive family.
If future contact and even visitations with your child are important to you, there are many waiting families who are seeking this same relationship. In addition, all of ABL Adoptions' families are accepting of at least a semi-open adoption. A semi-open adoption includes any or all of the following that you are interested participating in with the adoptive family:- • Conference Calls – An Adoption Coordinator – mediated conversation between you and the adoptive family.
- • Email Exchange – Ongoing email communication before and after the adoption is becoming increasingly popular.
- • Pictures and Letters – The adoptive family provides updates of your child via pictures and letters for 18 years.
- • Meet Prior and During Placement – The adoptive family travels to you prior to placement, focused on building a relationship and hoping you feel secure about your decision of them adopting your child. The family will also travel to you during delivery and follow what you have put into place for your hospital plan.
Remember, there is always an adoptive family at ABL Adoptions who is interested in the same amount of contact that you are requesting. Whether it be a more open adoption or closed adoption. The choice is ultimately yours.
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If I choose adoption, will I some day regret my decision?
ANSWER: There are many emotions that correspond with adoption. Regret is one of those emotions that is unpredictable.
You may, for example, regret that you weren’t able to offer everything you wanted for your child. However, you will never regret the fact that you gave your child a better life through adoption, and that your child is happy.
Knowing that you made a positive decision out of love and in the best interest of your child will help you cope with any feelings or thoughts of regret, should you experience this. -
How do I get started?
ANSWER: We encourage you to call our toll free number, 1-866-650-5683 and talk with an Adoption Coordinator. You may also complete our “request information form” which will help us get to know you, let us answer any additional questions you may have and provide you with our information packet.
Birthmothers FAQs
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What is open adoption?
By definition, adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with someone other than the child's biological parents. Open adoption includes the birthparents and adoptive parents meeting one another, sharing full identifying information, and having direct access to ongoing contact over the years.
You may also choose Semi-Open adoption too. A Semi-Open adoption is where you would receive. -
How does Open Adoption work for me and my child?
In fully Open Adoptions, all of the choices are up to you. You have the right to:
- • Choose an adoptive family for your baby
- • Choose the amount of contact you would like as the baby grows up
- • Choose who you would like to have support you at the hospital
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Will this cost me any money?
Our services are absolutely free for women who are pregnant. Depending on which state you live in, you may even qualify for additional financial assistance for things related to your pregnancy.
Through the ABL Adoptions, you are eligible to receive free, confidential, adoption-related counseling and support services. -
Can I choose a family for my baby?
Absolutely. We believe that you know best when it comes to choosing the perfect family for your baby. We can help to introduce you to families from all different parts of the country, and from many different backgrounds. You can request families with or without children, two-parent traditional family, specific religion, etc. It is very important to have many options while selecting a family.
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What if my due date is coming up, and I haven't made a plan yet?
That's OK. It is not too late to make an adoption plan. If you are interested in speaking to one of our case workers, we can help you to make an adoption plan that you are comfortable with. We have families that are ready to meet you immediately, if that's what you would like. We often work with women who call us from the hospital to make an adoption plan after they deliver. Our job is to help you make a plan that you can feel good about.
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Can I get financial assistance?
Depending on what state you reside in, you may be able to qualify for financial assistance. In many states it is legal for an adoptive family to help pay for pregnancy-related expenses. That can include things like:
- • Medical bills
- • Maternity clothes
- • Transportation
- • Food and rent
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What about the baby's father?
The laws about a father's rights differ based on which state you live in. If you would like to have the father of your baby participate in making an adoption plan with you, you can. Some women find that they are making an adoption plan alone. We can help you to understand the laws in your state, and what rights the baby's father will have. You will find more answers to your questions about a father's rights in our Services For Men section.
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Do I have to tell my parents?
If you are pregnant and over the age of 16, then you are legally able to make a confidential adoption plan. If you would like assistance with how to talk to your family and friends about your pregnancy, or about adoption, our case workers are available to help. The decision about who to tell, when to tell, and how to tell, is ultimately up to you.
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What happens after the baby is born?
If you decide to make an adoption plan, you will choose how you want your hospital experience to be. Our adoptive families are able to bring the baby directly home from the hospital, if that is what you choose. Some women choose to be supported by an adoptive family in the hospital. Some women choose to have their friends or family members there. Some women prefer to have some alone time with the baby in the hospital. Our case workers can help you to decide what would feel the most comfortable for you.
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Do I have to do any paperwork?
You will not sign any paperwork that terminates your rights to the child until AFTER delivery. You also have the right to make a plan with the adoptive family that you choose, prior to giving birth.
Your adoption plan can include:- • How often will I see the baby after he/she is born?
- • Will the adoptive family send me letters and pictures?
- • What contact information will we share with each other?
- • Who will be at the hospital with me?
- • Who will take the baby home from the hospital?
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What if I haven't had any prenatal care?
We work with many women who have not yet received prenatal care. Our case workers can help you to find free, confidential healthcare in your area.
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What if I have used drugs or alcohol during my pregnancy?
We have families that are open to adopting children that have been exposed to drugs and/or alcohol. Our case workers can help to introduce you to the adoptive families that are comfortable with any history of drug or alcohol use. You have the right to make an adoption plan for your baby that you can feel good about.
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Can I talk with other women who have made an adoption plan?
Absolutely. Sometimes it can help to talk with others who have made similar decisions, or experienced similar things. Our case workers can help to introduce you to other birth mother mentors.